BE HAPPY YOU'RE ALIVE AND LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT

Just so you know; here at the beginning I’m going to be posting quite a bit, in the hope that I can catch myself up on everything that has led me to this diagnosis and treatment. I will try to keep the posts under 1,000 words, so it will be easier for you to read, and me to write.

Now that you know I had cancer and went through traditional treatment for it, let’s move onto the next trauma (both physical and emotional) in my life. During this time I was living on a ranch in Idaho and we were raising Quarter Horses. I have to tell you, those horses saved my sanity. I wasn’t able to do much, but anytime I could be outside playing with them was time I wasn’t thinking about my horrifying physical condition.

One sunny morning I decided to move one of the brood mares to a different pasture. Not thinking at all, I stepped through the gate with Eve following, I twisted my body to swing the gate shut and this directed Eve to back up. She backed right into the electric fence. Once she got the shock, she took off like a rocket, right over me.

I literally ‘saw stars’. I believe I was only out for a minute or two and when I came to, I was face down in the mud. Upon trying to get up, I realized I was hurt in several places. My left thigh, right in the quad muscle was on fire, I had a big knot on my forehead (don’t know for sure if I was kicked or hit a rock when I went down) and my right ankle really, Really, REALLY hurt. I hobbled my way back to the house, which was probably about a quarter mile away. When I got into the house and called for help, everyone wanted to know why I was covered in mud.

The result was a broken ankle. It seems the horse stepped on my left thigh and directly on the muscle in my right calf, causing so much torque on that muscle that it snapped the bone at the ankle. I was fortunate that it had not displaced, but was confined to a large non-weight bearing ‘boot’ for a minimum of six weeks and I had a mild concussion.

During this time on crutches, my leg began to swell. The orthopedic surgeon wasn’t too concerned until this swelling would not go down. My oncologist later told me that it was due to the removal of lymph nodes during my surgery, and the after-effects of radiation, followed by this trauma that now the lymph fluid on my lower right quadrant was not moving properly. The solution: Wear compression hose (essential when flying) and be happy you’re alive, and learn to live with it.

The breaking of my leg was trauma number two in a very short period of time. My current doctor is pretty convinced that this is what contributed to my Fibro and Auto Immune Disease. I have been plagued with recurring pain in my right leg ever since, but the general sensitivity and all-over pain did not commence until a few years later. More on that in the next post.

IN THE BEGINNING

This is something completely new to me. Not blogging in general, but blogging completely about myself. I really don't like to talk about myself and try to refrain from doing that as much as possible on my other blog, BUT I think maybe the time has come to tell this story.

I’ve decided to start a new blog expressly for this story. Because it’s about pain and my struggle to find ways to deal with it, I’ve decided the signature color should be my visual color of this particular pain. RED.

If you’ve found your way here, please note that this is mostly for myself. I feel a need to record this journey, which I’m seriously hoping will culminate in my being pain free and enjoying a fully functional, active life. If anything I talk about or reference can help you in the slightest, I am grateful for the opportunity, but primarily this is a self-indulgent space where I’m going to grant myself the freedom to rant and complain, and hopefully rejoice.

Let me start at the beginning. I’m a cancer survivor. I have survived the disease, but I’m not so sure I have survived the treatment. It is evident today that most, if not all, of my medical problems can, be pretty directly tied to my cancer treatment.

 
 At the time I was told I had cancer, I faced my mortality, the way I’m sure most people who are told they have a potentially fatal disease would. I was scared, incredulous, and thought ‘I am going to die’. Funny, up until that time it hadn’t really occurred to me that I was going to die, and yet life is totally and completely fatal. We are all going to die and some point in time. I suppose it’s something that most people manage to keep somewhere out in the distant future, and not necessarily their personal future. Once I came to terms with this fact, I decided that I really wasn’t ready to die just yet, and knew that I needed a positive attitude to survive. What I didn’t know, was that I needed to remain in charge of my treatment and not turn it over to the medical practitioners.

Before I get too far afield here, I want to tell you that I was ignorant of what my options were. I simply trusted the doctors and let them basically do what they pleased with regard to my treatment. It wasn’t until I was almost through radiation treatment that I realized I could actually say NO. Because this isn’t intended to be a blog about the horrors of modern medicine and what really governs how and what you will be treated with, let me simply recommend a book that everyone (not just cancer patients, because once you have been diagnosed, it must might be too late to digest all of the facts) should read. That book is ‘A Word Without Cancer-The Story of Vitamin B17’ by G. Edward Griffin. A friend sent me this book at Christmas in 2012 and it has opened my eyes to exactly how the medical community in the United States is run.

Another book (which by the way, was sent to me by the same friend) that I would highly recommend is ‘Alive and Well-One Doctor’s Experience with Nutrition in the Treatment of Cancer Patients’, by Phillip E. Binzel, Jr., M.D.

It’s important to know there are options. It’s important to remember that doctors call what they do ‘PRACTICING’. Know the facts. Check out the alternative. Find out what you can honestly expect before you allow someone to practice on your body.

OK, now we have that out of the way. I had cancer. I suffered traditional treatment for cancer. Surgery, Radiation and Chemotherapy. I was declared cancer free by my oncologist two years, and then again five years after my treatment. For him and the other doctors involved (Radiation and Chemo) I was considered a great success story. For me it was just the beginning.

I am grateful to be cancer free, but now I have to find a way to rid myself of the after effects of cancer treatment. I only wish I had known that there was a better way.

NEXT POST – Side-effects and be happy you’re alive. Learn to live with it.